Home in Anything

Home In Anything

Jamey Braden

Anyone can be a nerd in anything.  Think about it.  The subculture of competitive eating, getting into exotic hardwood flooring, guitar-making, banjo-picking, collecting discarded but real ivory piano keys, I've seen a documentary on collecting old photos, photos of strangers, celebrities, and/or pets, and/or animals, growing plants and caring so much about what kind of soil to use, a society of egg lovers, duck, geese, quail, ostrich, emu, the tiny eggs of game poultry, the strings of stringed instruments, joystick-only video games, “classic” computers, “classic” TVs, “classic” bicycle pumps, toasters, shiny ones, knives used by brothers fighting on opposite sides of the civil war, ornaments worn by royal animals, feathers long ago woven into flat patches to be worn on the heads of flapper women, beaded dresses heavier than the wearer, falling apart, needing to be restored, restorative herbs grown more powerful by age, long age, centuries old, you put in it your mouth, other mouth-things, old teeth, collecting old plated teeth, solid gold or some with just a rim of gold, an outline, a frame, hair, in braids cut from women who wore long white cotton full-sleeved nightgowns, braids kept in several generations of drawers, hair art made by Victorians stuffed into high collared cages, hair jewelry made by similar but different Victorians, extra sentimental Victorians who couldn't bare to have the relic anywhere but dead-set resting on their hearts, more and other old photograph collectors: strictly Victorian portraiture, maybe one collector cuts out the dead mouths, non-smiling, and makes one endless collage, it will be found, after her death, she will be famous, posthumously, better that way, fame aka looking would have made her curl unto herself, frozen her collaging fingers, finger nerds, not collectors, just those who are connoisseurs of the long and unusual, feet people, of course, of varying sexual fetish, some not at all just a love for the supportive oblong shape, manicure people, competitive manicuring, competitive hair-piling, competitive dressing, the fastest, the fanciest, competitive smiling, the prettiest, the longest, competitive dancing, the most rugged, the longest, the most twirlingest, trance-inducing, the most seductive dancing, tap-dancing, secret dancing, special outdoor dancing, assembling groups, climbing to mountain tops and just dancing, dancing, dancing, dancing.

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